2010

It's been a long long time since i last blogged...!
So much has happened since the last, and it's been a crazy journey walking with God and for him.
I think it'll be good to do some reflections from the past and for the yr ahead, and how even some resolutions have already begun.

There's my personal growth, where i struggle to become an adult. I'm 21!!! And to me, it's just another added year that didn't mean anything different from other years to me. But i figured, I had to find out what's so special about this year even though no one is teaching me, or telling me anything definate at all. :(
Why do ppl organise grand parties on the day, and go on and on about not being childish anymore. What does it actually mean? Well, take the initiative and find out then! This year's hunt included a whole new world of learning:

1. Financial management and why there's a need to have financial freedom, from the perspective of a kingdom mindset and a heart of stewardship, not riches.

2. Will writing. Wasn't part of the list at all, but the young adult group organised such a workship. How interesting. My assets are like... prob my sesame street stuffed toys, my lappy, my baking equipment, and my most treasured personal recipe book. Haha. Who wants 'em?

3. The need to love my number 1 (God), and the patient wait for my number 2 (ahem. my life partner la). I'm not ashamed to say it... Haha. I don't have the gift of celibacy. And according to science, it's best to give birth to children before 30. This leads me to the 4th point.

4. Marriage and families... Yes. Go on and laugh. hahaha. So what if i haven't even found my life partner? Haha. I just figured i need to know. I wonder why people study their whole lives for their career, but schools never taught anything about families, even though it's like the basic and essential unit of society. There's too many dysnfunctional families around, behind closed doors. It's never meant to be this way...

5. And the compatibles of loving and serving, power and prayer, foolishness and wisdom, humility and confidence, simplicity and awareness, innocence and shrewdness, rejoicing and mourning, stillness and passion, fear and boldness.

6. (Said in a uber cool way, with uber cool pose) Discipleship... It's the way to go :)

7. To be a very expensive asset... Got to level up till i add much value to wherever i choose to work/live/influence... Not only do i have to study really hard, i will also choose to continue serving. Kenneth shared a very powerful point last night (paraphrased and added on):
When we choose to serve God, we will be blessed in return.
Compared to others who just choose to only study and nothing else, struggling to grow and serve others will give us a more all-rounded education. It's not just the textbook knowledge we need when we go out to work. But we need to know how to relate to ppl, work in teams, lead and teach and encourage others, juggle more responsibilities and love them yet correct them. This is the wisdom that is needed. Theory is not sufficient! That is the value we can add, and that perhaps might be the reason why we are blessed when we choose to bless others...

It's not just theory, as i've learnt while serving in OCF. It's the living out of what we've learnt. If it's not shown in your life, you haven't learnt it yet.

So there, the most meaningful and frustrating holiday yet... Meaningful because one: I spent much more time with family this time around. Although it's still not enough, and i think i haven't been enough of a granddaughter, daughter or cousin. And two: After praying, God really answered and provided opportunities already! to learn alot of stuff from my resolutions.

Yet, frustrating and alot of fear already for the yr ahead. RAWRRR! I hate this feeling... I'm not just happy and radiant all the time you know? But i must not be afraid to face it. Sigh. So so hard eh?
I will be victorious... If God is for me, who can be against me? The battle has already been won. I will get my hands on the movie 300 for inspiration, as recommended by my most respected chef.

*OCF ah OCF... So much mixed feelings..................................

Anyhow, I've declared 2010 the YOD - Year of Decisions. We'll re-evaluate at the end of the yr, and hopefully many times in the middle. Psalm 25:12 Who, then, is the man that fears the Lord? He will instruct him in the way chosen for him.

Note to self: When i can't sleep, dark chocolate and red wine (i only need a few sips) works superbly an instant good peaceful sleep... Yesterday night was proof. :)

P&W

Became a worship leader for the first time this morning. Set-up the place (by cleaning up my room), then chose my own songs suitable for my own walk, and repeated them as many times as i needed. Awesome... :)

2 songs that calmed, spurred, and prepared my sensitive heart most:



What A Friend I've Found

What a friend I've found
Closer than a brother
I have felt your touch
More intimate than lovers

Jesus, Jesus
Jesus, friend forever

What a hope I've found
More faithful than a mother
It would break my heart
To ever lose each other



Michael Card
Galatians 3 & Romans 3:22

Chorus
To hear with my heart
To see with my soul
To be guided by a hand I cannot hold
To trust in a way that I cannot see
That's what faith must be

When the universe fell from His fingertips
He decided He wanted some fellowship
But the man and the woman would not submit
So He made a better way
When the moment was right He sent His own Son
And He opened the way so that everyone
Could have hope and believe that when time was done
He'd be able to make us one

Chorus

Now I understand that there is a key
It's Jesus in me, a reality
That God is in Christ and that Christ's in me
That with faith I see what is unseen

Chorus
That's what faith must be




Gamabte Kudasai, Mel~

Gonna have fun preparing meals

I finished my exams... I finished my exams... I finished my exams!!!

And i'm having the time of my life now. Back out from the books and my room, to the people in the world outside. :)

WOOOOO!

But just one more day at home. Before i keep going out, and neglect slacking at home time. Wanna work on my latest quiet time query to God. :)

Betty's staying over at my place now. SO EXCITED. I can cook for her every night, not forgetting desserts of cos! Not going to chat much to her outside of mealtimes, cos i just want her to study for her papers on Tues and Thurs. She's been a real darling to me. A confidante, and a huge encouragement. She deserves to have unlimited talk time and free sms, cos she uses it well, to bless others. haha. Like how i've been richly blessed by her thru' the toughest of times.

She's sleeping in my living room now. Let her sleep early without much chatting/catching up (which we did quite alot during dinner actually, but there's so much more to say of cos), so that she can spend the whole of tmr studying. Which was her plan, and a wise one indeed. She hasn't STARTED STUDYING!!!

So since i can't chat with her now, i'll give chat about her here! haha. I'll miss Betty SO SO much. She's been a real joy to hang around with and go crazy with as a friend, to serve alongside in ministry like fully-armoured warriors for Christ, and to share burdens, blessings and passions with as Sisters-in-Christ.

The most obvious fruits of her ministry so far, is the large number of new members that OCF Flinders has this year. She really did a fantastic job for orientation. Leading the centre to reach out to many newbies on campus, and create awareness of OCF. So that even tho' we had abt 1/3 of an exodus last yr, we still increased in membership to about 34!!!

There's many other lives she's touched, intercession she's prayed, burdens she's borne, and struggles she's faced. And still, her life still shines ever so brightly for Christ. Great role model... :)

がんばって Betty! JIAYOU for exams!! Hope you enjoy the food, and have an enjoayable stay here. Gonna miss you when you're back in Melbourne...

1 more to go!

1st paper on Human Physio went all right! Praise God. I'm surprised i could remember stuff.. Not prepared enough compared to last semesters..

1 more to go! Biochemistry.. Bo-ring.. I'm trying to make studying this as fun as possible already. Have abt 1 more day to study!

Haven't gotten back my results for Jap and Introductory Exegesis. Wonder how i fared...

Meanwhile, i'm still eagerly desiring after the gift of healing.. and trying to put it into practice. Figuring, sorting, using, praying... :)

?

My emotions run wilder than when i saw our handsome Renal Prof. Haha.

It's been SO long! Why why why?

My sista

15min gang membership is up to 5 now!!! Newest member, LI ENG!!!

My family is expanding... Somehow, i'm starting to get an idea of how this 'fictive kinship' (term coined by theologists) works. Perhaps it's not so fictive after all. Just a glimpse into eternity? Are we actually living it right now? Nahh. We're far from it. What can i do to change this?

Li Eng from UniSA, my Edge church buddy just accepted CHRIST!!! WOOOOOOO. Super happy. This is like the 2nd person that i'm close to, who accepted Christ this semester. Omgomg. It's brilliant to see the fruits of sowing and planting... The Spirit has worked, and we can continue doing the good work of his ministry. OCF! Even for all the stress that we've been thru. Salvation of souls makes it all worth it.

Meanwhile, i will try my bestest to disciple Chin Chin, our new sister in Christ from OCF Flinders! Aunt M says that you should continue investing until you see the person become a disciple maker herself. That's what i'm gonna try... So far, the few sessions have been short, but fab! Miss the sessions i had with Serene. haha.

I wonder what will happen next season. But first, selection of the committee.

Big decision for me again...................... What will it be? Tell me, Lord.

The reason behind sniff

I am trying to figure out why i stopped going on MSN for a long time... I have many reasons... but i'm starting to remember why again.

Why was i scared for such a long time to come online you ask?

Perhaps the main one was:
It's like a roller coaster of emotions from every msn conversation.
And i hope to listen/help/celebrate/cry/laugh/whine/joke/kick/plan/encourage/correct... for/with/to/at everyone.

How is that even possible?

Ha. This wonderful world of MSN. Will i ever be run away from it again? Perhaps.

Meanwhile.. GO study la Mel.

muggers unite

The beginning of Mugging week! It will go very well. I actually feel relieved that i can just stay home all day and study.. Perhaps by the end, i'll go abit mad.. but it's going well so far.

Must do well for exams... GAMBATE.

Brother is in San Francisco now. Praise God for the safe trip there. Hope he has the time of his life!!! I get a 4 yr holiday, he deserves an explosive experience too!

Back on MSN! :)

And my dark eye circles are disappearing.. Phew. Masks and sleep and just less stress.

Boo

I am very sad.

Finished my 2500 word exegesis on the Parable of the Sower, but it required so much explanation that i don't like the parable anymore. Wonder how i will score?

Tried uploading the muffins performance on youtube at home, but the internet connection is so lousy it keeps getting cut off halfway.

Haven't run in like.. 1+ month now... too cold... and lazy too. Must start after exams.

Exams are in less than 2 weeks time and i'm no where near prepared. By this time last yr for both semesters, i already finished like 1-2 rounds of revision. :(

And....... I HAVE DARK EYE CIRCLES NOW!

*sniff* cannot fail these 2 core topics... exams are 50% and 60%, and they're so heavy on content!

The cold cold winter doesn't help me in my mood. *blehh*

But... at least i still have MasterChef on TV and Restaurant City on facebook that keeps me a little bit happier. Julie and Poh are still in the competition!!! Grins. Do check out the website everyone! You can even watch it online. So just whack~

http://www.masterchef.com.au/home.htm

The Singing Muffins 2!

WOO!

Entertainment filled week.

On Sunday, i watched The Phantom of the Opera, the musical with lotsa OCFers. Someone backed out at the last minute, and i was asked to fill the gap. WAS so tempted, cos' i had all along wanted to watch it, just didn't get the chance. But i already planned out what i needed to study for the day, and so turned it out at first.. After alot of persuasion, i decided to indulge for once, and just not study for the day. heh. IT WAS SOOOOO GD. I even cried at the end when Christine left the phantom for Raoul, and the phantom looked so miserable. Anthony Warlow's singing was Fantastic. So i was in the 'opera' or 'singing' mood for the week.

Watched Angels and Demons today too! Right after class. OMG. I read the book before, and the intense emotions of apprehension and curiosity, and the drama i felt for those few days, was all squished into a 2hr+ show. I was literally grabbing HuiYee most of the show, while nibbling on our homemade popcorn that we brought to the cinema.. HAHA. We had lots, and it was sooo much cheaper and nicer to make our own too. Feeling very emo after both Phantom and Angels. Haha. Why you say? I can't really put my finger onto them also actually. But it starts prob cos' it touched 2 things that are very dear to my heart. Relationships and religion (and science intertwined of cos'). I still gotta think thru' abit more stuff to figure out my response after my emo reactions after the great shows. :)

Anyway, Opera got me really hyped up for the rehearsals i had for the week before Music Night.

We sang well i think! Managed to have fun, over all our nerves, and just entertain ourselves and others. Sang in the same format as last year.

Lame song: 'Onions make my Cry' by the dog, from The Muppets
Nice chinese song: '小酒窝' by 林俊杰 and Asa.
Nice English song: 'Everything in its Time' by Corrine May

Yup. I was chocolate muffin this time. Sam was Strawberry Muffin, and Han Ee took over as the new flavour of the season, banana muffin! Haha. We just change flavours as we change shirts anyway. So it's easy and just fun. Blueberry muffin (Anna), was busy... :( But we did include her in our intro to the grp.

Had some warming up, and giggles from the first song. So it broke the ice, and was exactly the reaction we were looking for. And we sang our hearts out for the next 2! Yay. Thank you all who came to listen to us sing. It's really nice to have friends around! If not it would be quite meaningless. Esp, since it's super duper assignments and exams around the corner season.

Heard that the video might be put up on facebook? Haha.. That would be cool. It's memories that i cherish right here on my hill. (Flinders Housing, Uni, Adelaide) The new things that i tried (actually singing in front of ppl?), and the heart warming occasions we shared.

Anyway, back to work! So much to dooooo.

Music Night

The Singing Muffins are up again tonight for Music Night at the Village!
Another 3 songs, in the same genre and style, with one replacement muffin.
I'm chocolate tonight! Cos' i'm wearing brown... Hope all goes well, and I REALLY don't go off key. haha.

Off to my last rehearsal!!! :)

L-O-V-E

Perhaps it's time to level up after getting 'feedback' from others.

Tried so hard, and did more than what i could ever do with my own strength. Right motivations, but perhaps I need to love with that little bit more, even though i thought i was doing my best already.. Seems like it's still not enough eh.

Ha. I wonder whether i'll ever find out what it means to lay down my life for my brother, just as Christ did for us.

I do want to love, and i don't want to stop, even if there's no return, even if the reciprocation is negative. If i was worth it, you're worth it too, cos' we're all the same.

Besides that, my only justification to the 'honest remark' is that...

God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him. In this way, love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgement, because in this world we are like him. There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out all fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love. We love because he first loved us. 1 John 4:16b-19.

I seem to be quoting alot of the bible nowadays. Think i'm not very creative, or 'entertaining' anymore eh? It seems like the world is changing soo fast, soo much, that many things seem blurry already. 'Advancing' from conservative thinking, to much more freedom may be what many want. But without discipline, we'd never know what's good for us isn't it?

Anyway, I get to say almost anything i want on my blog...

So it's thanksgiving time again! :)

God has been MOST faithful, even during these times! It's amazing how he works, and slowly teaches me.. Ha. One day, perhaps after a long long time, i'll finally understand what it means to have pure joy in facing trials of many kinds. (Aaron Wong! Your sharing was my inspiration to apply this scripture!)

Wanna list a few ppl, who have shown me how God never lets me endure beyond what i can bear, cos' they've uplifted and encouraged! Of cos there's more, but i hope i don't leave anyone out! (Just for this season la hor?)

Mel's hall of fame for the season: Betty, Grace, Naomi, Norman, Aaron, Chin Ting, Cheryl, Alethea, Chin Chin, Raymond Lim, Aunty M, Aunty Vanessa, Glenn, Taiwei, Kim, etc..

And special thanks to BROTHER HO! hahaa.. Thanks 'gor'. Your attitude towards 'an always exciting ministry' still stays in my head, and always sets me up for the right mindset when i'm dealing with issues. Haha. I Likes your style. The more stuff happening, the more exciting it is! Grins. Altho' i haven't spoken to you for some time now, you're still in my heart. :)

Nights all! Full moon night! Enjoy..

None...?

Sigh. It's a cloudy night. I can't even see 1 star! :(((

Anyway, it's good reason to put up my glow-in-the-dark stars that i brought from Singapore now. I told myself i'll wait for a good time before i put them up. This is it! They'll accompany me to sleep, other than fierce scary but very shy sharkie. :)

Stars!

It's a bad season. Two extremes in a day! Super happy cos' we celebrated a birthday, but also bugged by super little things. Perhaps i'm in the emo state these days. But.. I wonder what God is trying to say through it all... Anyway, quite tired emotionally.

But i cooked chicken rice. And i was happier, but the gathering i cooked for didn't happen in the end. :( So perhaps, it's good to get a breather, even though i was sooo looking forward to it!

Anyway, at times like these, it's good to read Ecclesiastes. Apart from all the meaningless bits, which take away my stress a little, for just once i really wanted to be selfish, and take away something i'm looking for to just to encourage myself a little in these trying times. I don't really care if its out of context. haha.

3:10-11a I have seen the burden God has laid on men. He has made everything beautiful in its time.

So there. God knows my burden(s). And he's going to make everything beautiful in its time. But i'm going to take the 'beautiful' bit, and use that to just go back to my normal state. A 'feeler' and not a 'thinker', and just look at the moon and the stars tonight. Cos' they're beautiful and they make me happy.

It's just too bad i'm looking at them alone outside... on a cold cold night. Silly ol' me.

Bridesmaids!

I found someone who i am able to share my heart's cries with. We're going to be at each other's weddings, and will be each other's bridesmaids, and we're gonna make sure we approve of each other's other half first.

Haha. I guess when you go through the most trying times with someone, and you find someone you can really cry and pray and still encourage each other in the midst of it, and still quote bible verses to each other. Still trusting and having faith and seeing what is not yet seen, still having the courage to move from 'mistakes' to the next best step, it is comforting...

God is good, he's providing, and he's still speaking and moving. Even though i couldn't answer the question WWJD for my situation.

When i said i needed to bake a super rich chocolate cake, it was going to be a good outlet. But i think i should just sleep, and not let it affect the whole of my tmr. So distracted, I couldn't even finish studying and making notes 1 human physio system for the whole of today...

Even though things are not looking too optimistic, it is written,

'Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.' So we say in confidence, 'The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?' Hebrews 13:5-6

'And now we know that in all things, he works for the good of those who love him, who havef been called according to his purpose.' Romans 8:28

'Is anyone of you in trouble? He should pray... If he has sinned, he will be forgiven. Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.
Elijah was a man just like us. He prayed earnestly that it would not rain, and it did not rain on the land for three and a half years. Again he prayed, and the heavens gave rain, and the earth produced its crops.
My brothers, if one of you should wander from the truth and someone should bring him back, remember this: Whoever turns a sinner from the error of his way will save him from death and cover over a multitude of sins.' 1 Peter 5:13-20

Hopefully, my sighs will quickly shift back to his glory? What will happen next? Exciting journey with God eh, Mel?

We were discussing how much easier it would have been if we just gave up bothering a long time ago. But we couldn't, and we didn't, and now it's even bigger than ever! WOO.

The truth has and will continue setting us free.